Kate's Party

Kate Moss had invited me to a little soiree she was having at her pile in the Cotswolds, and I for one was not going to turn her down. Mossy and I have known each other for many years through working on various modelling assignments and we both like a partay or two. In the past we have rocked like there would be no tomorrow, almost as if there was going to be a fucking cake Armageddon.

Anyways I put on my best Chloe number and headed off to the party. When I arrived, (fashionably late) the usual suspects were all there Jade, Sadie, Davinia, Pete Et Al and they were all completely fucked out of their tiny little pea brains. Kate called me over and told me there was some ‘hot shit’ going down. She took me to her boudoir and I could not believe my eyes, there was enough Tate and Lyle to sink a ship!!! Jane Asher would have had an orgasm!!!She rolled me a fifty-pound note and together we hoovered up the joint. That icing sugar fresh from the cane fields of Thailand gave me the best buzz ever.

After what seemed like an eternity, Pete Docherty walked in and asked us if we wanted to shoot up some Demerera. Well I went fucking mental at him and told him to stop being such a skank and that brown sugar was for losers!!! By this time I was off my doylie and things began to blur in to one. We began to pop a few sugar cubes here a few Canderel Pills there, until finally my sponge became numb and I passed out.

I awoke the next morning to find myself lying in a compromising position next to a half naked Fondant Fancy. Kate, Sadie and Jude (I don’t where the fuck he came from) were in the bed too. My head pounded as I tried to remember what the hell had gone on until the flashbacks began. Me, Kate and the Fondant Fancy, Kate and Sadie, me and Jude, Oh my God what the f…….

I got out of that bed and left the house as fast as I could, I had reached the furthest depths of depravity. Could I have sunk any lower? I had done something so disgusting, something that I vowed to myself that I would never EVER do. I had fucked a fondant fancy and from that my friend I would never recover.