I was partying at the Met Bar years ago when I bumped into Liam Gallagher. We hit it off and got it on straight away and that was when our sordid little affair began. Nicole Appleton his girlfriend was oblivious to our seedy shenanigans. If she had found out what went on never ever would she have felt so low. She wouldnt have got out of that black hole.
Anyways our affair continued, Liam liked me to smother him in cream and jam and in return he would bounce on my sponge which sent me to places I'd never been to before.
He affectionately used to call me babycakes which in hindsight I wondered if he may have had a premonition, as nine months on I did actually have his baby...........cake.
Yes 9 months later - our relationship having ended months ago - I gave birth to Ringo CupCake the Third. Ringo Cupcake first and second having previously been allocated to Liams two other love children.
I had a natural birth at the Portland - no artificial colourings or ingredients were needed. Father was not present at the birth but that was to be expected.
Unfortunately I had Ringo Cupcake adopted, as I couldnt cope due to my hectic life as a supermodel. I was so in demand with Delia, Jane and Mr Kipling that I just didnt have the time to bring up a small cake.
Fortunately Ringo has found a good home, his parents being two well respected lemon drizzles. I'm sure he will be very happy with them.
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